


Hallelujah

by RhinoCoffee



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: ...this was supposed to be a oneshot..., F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Needs A Hug, Lucifer is clueless, What has my life become, chloe is afraid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 13:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhinoCoffee/pseuds/RhinoCoffee
Summary: Lucifer is upset and depressedChloe is upset and hurtChloe thinks Lucifer is going to do something awful (not like that, get your mind out of the gutter!) and goes to Lux to try to save him or whateverBut things never go as planned, do they?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fic on this site, so if it's pretty bad, please feel free to give advice!

 

It was a quiet night at Lux.

And for the first time in a long time, Lucifer Morningstar was alone.

He had watched the last patrons leave, and he wasn’t even sorry to see them go this time. That was a strange thing in itself; he was actually the one to usher them out. That rarely _ever_ happened. It was usually a police officer or security guard or something, kicking people out because they were being too loud.

He sat down at his piano and plinked out a sorry tune. He had really messed things up this time, hadn’t he? With Amenadiel, with Doctor Linda, with Chloe… did he even really have anyone now? Or had he pushed everyone away at the first sign of affection? He had never been one for relationships of any kind, because, well, Hell and all that. Even Mazikeen…well, she was a demon. She didn’t count.

He put his other hand on the keys and started the accompaniment to the tune he was playing. Getting lost in the melody, he had no idea what he was playing until he got to the chorus.

Hallelujah.

Ah, how terribly fitting. A song about dear old Dad to calm him down. Oh, how ironic that was. But the song wasn’t really about his father, was it? It was about heartbreak, sadness, and –if anything—about questioning your faith. Three things he hadn’t even realized he had been feeling until now.

But what  could he do? He was Devil; alone. Forever.

  And he couldn’t do anything about it without showing her.

Her?

Chloe. The thought came like clean water, clearing his head of any muddled thoughts.

He needed to tell Chloe. About him.  
Then everything would be alright.

This newfound optimism was quickly squashed by reality. If he showed the Detective, there was no knowing what she would say. Or do. Actually, scratch that. He knew what she would do. She would run away—no, beg _him_ to run away, to the other side of the world and even that would be too close.

No, he was better off in Hell, where he belonged.

Just as the second verse ended, he surprised himself once again. Before he could stop himself, a broken “Hallelujah” escaped his lips.

He tried to stop, to bring the shield down once again on his heart, but as the third verse started, he couldn’t make his throat and mouth comply with the orders his brain was uselessly shouting at them. He sang through the lyrics, smirking to himself at how true they were.

When he started at the second chorus, he was full on singing now, but it wasn’t loud or belting at all. It was a mirror of how he was feeling; small, broken, alone. And yet it was him.

The fourth verse filled him with bitter sorrow and remorse. He thought of the Detective, Chloe, and how she had broken through all of his defenses and left him, broken and ragged, his heart torn into so many pieces he didn’t know what to do.

_“I don’t need you anymore.”_ The words echoed in his brain, reminder that he had done it all for naught. Changed every bit of his being for nothing. Who would love a devil anyway?

“Hallelujah,” the fallen angel sang, his voice so raw and desperate, and yet as full as it had ever been. He could hear his own emotions in the piano keys, the pain and fear he knew he was feeling under all that hate. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t face that. Not yet.

The third chorus was turned into memories of Earth, the earth he would remember when he was way down South. With Lux, with Dr. Linda, with Chloe…and then the hurt he had felt when she had pushed him away. The fear he had felt when he had run to Las Vegas, the anger he felt at his father for pushing her into his path when he _knew_ that Lucifer couldn’t take it.

Because who could?

Certainly not the Devil.

The fourth verse was full of remorse and self-pity, the piano keys responding immediately but still keeping the tempo and loudness. It reminded him of what he had lost when he had Fallen from Heaven, the torture he had experienced when he acquired his Face. He thought of what he would lose again when he returned to Hell  again, after he had made arrangements.

Final arrangements.

He made his way into the fourth chorus, the song progressively building to the climax one note at a time. His fingers flew across the keys, going faster and faster until he finally dropped to the fifth and final verse.

But not the original verse.

No, this was his song now; he was making it his own, not anybody else’s. And with an air of pain and desperation, he sang.

_“I know that there’s a God above_

_But the only thing I learnt from love_

_Was trust and even that was thrown away, yeah…”_

_‘…And it's not a saint that you hear at night_  
It's somebody who can’t see the light  
screaming out a broken Hallelujah…

_‘Hallelujah,”_

The fallen angel was enraptured in the sound, making the song its own as he literally poured his soul into the keys, singing the “Hallelujahs” with all of the emotion he could, his feelings cramming out of the only outlet they had: through the song.

The lyrics were crescendoing, and Lucifer pounded the keys with an intensity he had not felt for a long time, letting out feelings he didn’t know he had.

And at the height of the song, where all of the words and music converged into one, he felt a release, a constant tugging he had never noticed before let go of, and he let out a scream that was both of surprise and pain at the same time. Something was different now, but he couldn’t quite place it.

As the song quieted, Lucifer felt better, fuller, like he had been pulling on a rope for so long that he didn’t even notice, and the other person finally let go.

Lucifer let out one final “Hallelujah,” and the song drew to a close, and to his surprise, he discovered that his cheeks were wet with tears.

And as he quietly closed the lid on the piano, and headed to a much-needed sleep, he realized that he was sobbing.

And he drew the covers on himself, crying quietly, but he didn’t even notice that his wings were back, in all of their former angelic glory, and even a little bit more.

But even if he did know that they were back, in that moment, he wouldn’t have cared.

Because in that minute, in that very small, but very important moment, he had dealt with his feelings.

And proven that the Devil wasn’t as heartless as anyone thought.

In fact, he was almost human.

And his wings were covering him like a blanket, keeping him warm and safe within the confines of the feathers.

And if anyone was watching, they could have called it beautiful.

Hallelujah, indeed.

_Fin_


	2. Chloe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe was actually there!

Chloe was mad.

Really, truly mad.

And hurt.

Lucifer had done something stupid, betrayed her trust yet again, but he had made it all about him again, ran away like he always did.

Well, she did send him away. But she didn’t expect him to actually _go._ He would stick around, laughing and making inappropriate jokes until Chloe finally forgave him.

That’s what he normally did, why would this be any different?

But Chloe had seen the look on his face when she sent him away, and now, three days later, she was getting worried. And after speaking to Linda, she was worried too. Whenever Lucifer usually went gallivanting around, he always canceled his appointments with his therapist first. But apparently he had missed his latest session all together, and Linda seemed really worried.

“Linda, really. Is everything okay?” Chloe had asked over the phone, wondering why the doctor was so freaked out.

“I’m fine,” Linda had said, her voice wavering slightly. “It’s just… If you haven’t seen him either…”

“He’s probably fine,” Chloe had said nonchalantly, but getting more worried every second that she talked to Linda. “I just said some things… I just wanted to know if you’d seen him. He’s probably in Las Vegas or something getting another stripper wife.”

She had expected Linda to laugh, or at least chuckle, but she did the exact opposite. “What did you say tp him?” she asked, openly scared.

“What?” Chloe had not expected this change in attitude. Why was Linda so upset at this?  
“What did you say?!” the doctor almost yelled over the phone. Chloe winced and pulled the phone away from her ear. Putting it back, she heard Linda take some breaths.

“What did you say to Lucifer before he walked out?” Chloe could tell that something was wrong. Really wrong. She didn’t know the therapist to freak out; she had always been the calm one. But, Chloe thought, she was probably the one who knew Lucifer better than _anyone,_ being his therapist and all. Maybe something about the way Chloe told her he  had been acting had rubbed her the wrong way. Maybe something _was_ wrong.

“Uh…well, he was being stupid Lucifer, contaminated a crime scene, almost killed a viable suspect in a serial killing…and I said that I didn’t  need him anymore, and he should just leave. Forever.” A stab of guilt pierced her, remembering the look on his face as Chloe yelled at him, first trying to hide his pain and hurt, but the mask soon fading to the desolate expression Chloe knew all too well as giving up. On her. On…well, everything. Life.

Linda paused before responding, which worried Chloe even more. When she finally spoke, the words were fast and urgent, as if she had just realized something. “You need to go to Lux. Now.”

Chloe blinked, not expecting that answer. “What?” she asked dubiously.

“Go to Lux. Right now. Find Lucifer, I think he’s in danger.” Linda said carefully, obviously not wanting to give much away. Chole grumbled inwardly. Stupid therapist-patient confidentiality.

On the other end of the phone, Linda stopped. She couldn’t very well say, _“I think that Lucifer has decided to go back to Hell or wreak destruction on mankind. You were about his only anchor, and now that that’s gone…well, hello Armageddon, unless you can change his mind”_ without Chloe thinking that she was a crazy person.

The therapist inhaled sharply. What was the best way to go about this? She was going to have to break patient confidentiality one way or another, but she wanted to do it in the least revealing and crazy way possible.

Finally, she decided on an answer. Linda took a breath. “Lucifer…is not in a good place right now.” Well, at least that was true. “He’s been cutting—” she stopped herself. She wasn’t going to be able to say, ‘ _cutting his wings’_ without sounding insane. She tried a different approach. “He’s been hurting himself. You’ve pretty much been the only thing keeping him tethered, and now that you’re out of his life…I’m afraid that…well…” Linda trailed off. This would get her over there, help her save Lucifer before he did something he might regret. Like start the Apocalypse.  

 Chole balked. Lucifer was harming himself? The thought seemed a stranger to her idea of Lucifer. He could be childish and immature at times, but _suicidal?_ The very idea struck her as weird. But Lucifer was her friend, and she wasn’t going to stand by while he decided that life wasn’t worth it. “I’m on my way,” she said to Linda, who let out a relieved, “Thank you.”

Chloe closed the call, picked up the keys, went into the car, and drove to Lux as fast as humanly possible. When she finally did get to the penthouse’s entrance, she parked the car in a two-hour parking zone, and raced inside the building, only stopping once to wonder where all the people were. When she couldn’t find any random clubgoers, especially at nine at night, panic seized her heart as her mind raced at all of the things Lucifer could be doing at that moment. He could be—

No. She needed to find him as soon as possible.

She raced to the elevator, which couldn’t go up fast enough. Heart beating at a speed she had only felt when Trixie was in danger, she braced herself to run, to stop her stupid, stupid partner from doing whatever it was he was doing. She pressed the top floor button repeatedly, cursing the fact that Lucifer lived on the top floor of Lux.

The doors finally opened, and Chloe burst out, ready to hurl herself at Lucifer and the terrible thing he was about to do—

But then she heard music.

And singing.

Lucifer’s singing.

She stopped in her tracks, her eyes moving to the place that was making the music: Lucifer, on the piano.

Singing.

She recognized the song immediately, of course. Hallelujah. It was a good song, but not one she had heard in a long time. She had regarded it as cool when she first heard it, nothing more. But this was something more. It was the most beautiful sound Chloe had ever heard, and not just because Lucifer’s voice was nice (though it was). The betrayal, the pain and the suffering in his voice was more than Chloe had ever felt before; more than she thought it was possible to feel. And even though his voice would have been beautiful on its own, the emotion was mimicked in his playing, the keys mirroring his sorrow in every way, shape and form, but making it more.

She blinked. Tears were coming to her eyes as she listened, hearing his story in the song. His abusive parents, running away…even though she didn’t know his entire history (or even part of it), the way it made her feel was enough. This was not a happy song. Was Lucifer’s life really this…this depressing? She cringed slightly.

The sudden change in the tempo brought her back to the song, letting herself getting enveloped in the melody. It was certain that Lucifer hadn’t noticed her; this was all him, without the filter of his reputation and being seen. This was Lucifer without the people. Chloe was surprised at how raw it was, how painful and sad. It hurt her heart to see Lucifer this way, but she couldn’t go back now. She needed to hear the song.

As she got ready for the final verse, she was surprised to hear it wasn’t the original one. But it made sense, in a way. This was his song now, not anyone else’s. But the words still shocked her and ripped their way into her soul in a way nothing had done before. And as he sang, she realized how much she didn’t know about Lucifer, how much she couldn’t relate to almost anything about him. He was...he was more. More than her. More than everything.

_“I know that there’s a God above_

_But the only thing I learnt from love_

_Was trust and even that was thrown away, yeah…”_

_‘…And it's not a saint that you hear at night_  
It's somebody who can’t see the light  
screaming out a broken Hallelujah,

_‘Hallelujah,”_

And Chloe was openly, soundlessly, sobbing now, her heart being wrenched in a way she hadn’t known was possible before.

It was so sad, and yet so free. So…open, more open than Lucifer had ever been with her before. But she found that she couldn’t feel resentment towards him, not now, in this second. The capacity within her seemed blocked, but even if it wasn’t she wouldn’t have used it. Silly emotions like that seemed so small, so fleeting in the face of despair. Love. Betrayal. Hope. Pain. Time.

Because that was what Lucifer’s song was about, wasn’t it?

But the end of the song was still miles off, and she could be just here, listening, without really being at Lux. Because she was floating amongst the stars.

But then Lucifer was screaming, but it was so in tune with the song that she barely even noticed it at first. Until, that is, her eyes adjusted, and she saw—

Wings.

From Lucifer’s back.

Pure white, angelic wings were now emerging from Lucifer’s back, in tune with the song in a way that Chloe could barely comprehend. But they were there, and they were perfect.

And the worrying, the shock, the complete _wrongness_ of the situation faded into yesterday’s petty thoughts, because Lucifer was so much more than that.

He was the Devil. A fallen angel.

His story finally made sense.

And Chloe dropped to her knees, tears streaming down her face, and she didn’t even notice when the song stopped, when Lucifer started to sob on the piano, when he finally headed to bed, his enormous wings trailing behind him. How he didn’t even seem to notice them.

Because she finally understood.

Everything.

And that was okay for now. Shock would come later, when she let herself deal with tiny emotions again. But for that moment, she felt whole, she felt one with the universe.

She understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason Chloe kind of goes crazy at the end is because Lucifer literally poured his soul into the song. Like, he took out a chunk of his eternal being and thrust it into the song. Humans aren't usually supposed to see/hear that type of divinity, but I'm going with the trope of "Chloe's special!" because I'm tired


End file.
